Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
