when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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