New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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