God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
