im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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