After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
