Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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