Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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