I am midnight drunk by noon
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize