dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I touched a dick in church today
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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