omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize