she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
