it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine