OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know