Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
