Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

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  (206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night. http://tfl.nu/k8do
  Replies (15) Good night (731) Bad night (1818)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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  (281): I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent http://tfl.nu/311d
  Replies (37) Good night (3322) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (12557) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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  (505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9
  Replies (14) Good night (5638) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.

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  (612): I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling. http://tfl.nu/2ybr
  Replies (8) Good night (4425) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?

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  (662): I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week? http://tfl.nu/iksy
  Replies (12) Good night (4017) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (564): View more from Washington

  He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

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  (564): He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns http://tfl.nu/yiwx
  Replies (13) Good night (5047) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

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  (904): hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway. http://tfl.nu/oo0k
  Replies (6) Good night (2981) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2806) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
  Replies (13) Good night (2011) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.

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  (904): Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake. http://tfl.nu/mh4i
  Replies (10) Good night (817) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her

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  (843): Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her http://tfl.nu/v0qt
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.

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  (973): I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on. http://tfl.nu/vh5i
  Replies (9) Good night (1022) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!

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  (216): I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb! http://tfl.nu/8pq7
  Replies (10) Good night (338) Bad night (817)

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