Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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  (763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34
  Replies (50) Good night (1660) Bad night (3304)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
  Replies (45) Good night (499) Bad night (6941)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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  (703): grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it http://tfl.nu/pj49
  Replies (28) Good night (700) Bad night (3853)
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  (369): View more from California

  I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.

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  (369): I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes. http://tfl.nu/u7kl
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (4678)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.

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  (917): Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/g66e
  Replies (9) Good night (4532) Bad night (888)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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  (413): Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang. http://tfl.nu/dwae
  Replies (15) Good night (737) Bad night (5456)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (7045) Bad night (906)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3098) Bad night (946)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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  (317): They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me. http://tfl.nu/zjv5
  Replies (4) Good night (2132) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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  (979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3
  Replies (14) Good night (2013) Bad night (1141)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

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  (780): They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge" http://tfl.nu/puda
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (1215)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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  (401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone

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  (513): I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone http://tfl.nu/hffa
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.

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  (713): Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/jai4
  Replies (13) Good night (1833) Bad night (371)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?

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  (479): What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock? http://tfl.nu/qpo9
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (225)

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