Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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  (586): if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/wvv2
  Replies (0) Good night (1283) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!

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  (630): I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!! http://tfl.nu/du0v
  Replies (3) Good night (1695) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

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  (803): I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today". http://tfl.nu/w2r4
  Replies (111) Good night (1036) Bad night (13258) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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  (973): all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist. http://tfl.nu/t7vc
  Replies (27) Good night (5384) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.

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  (770): It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college. http://tfl.nu/l73u
  Replies (15) Good night (5580) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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  (401): you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it. http://tfl.nu/ggt5
  Replies (11) Good night (4414) Bad night (1220) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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  (360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6
  Replies (16) Good night (2035) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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  (402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (2783) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

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  (601): I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it. http://tfl.nu/j6vg
  Replies (16) Good night (930) Bad night (1934) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.

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  (512): i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me. http://tfl.nu/wgh1
  Replies (11) Good night (1954) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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  (740): Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dou8
  Replies (8) Good night (1220) Bad night (389)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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  (703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo
  Replies (8) Good night (854) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka.

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  (304): The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period. (1-304): And vodka? (304): And vodka. http://tfl.nu/b29x
  Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (301)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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  (417): So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye? http://tfl.nu/90tu
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

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  (478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt

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