I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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