WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My life is pants optional.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
