The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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