All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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