Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
