I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
