do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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