Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

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(352): View more from Florida

... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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(678): View more from Georgia

You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life

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(312): View more from Illinois

It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy

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