apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
