So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize