we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
