I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
