I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
