I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
