Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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