My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
