its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
