Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
