I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
