I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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