At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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