Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
