Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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