I cockslap morals
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
