You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
