no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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