I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize