WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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