So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
