i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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