i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize