so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is wine microwaveable?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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