where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
