So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize