I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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