Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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