Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
