Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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