they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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