Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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