i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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