I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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