Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
