If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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