Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
