You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
